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You love your girl. She’s your world and you couldn’t imagine life without her. But lately, she’s been clinging to you like butter on bread, and you can’t help but feel like you are being suffocated.
While you don’t want to end things with her, you totally want some more space so you can feel like your own individual. Plus, as the saying goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, and with how much she has been crowding you lately, a little absence is definitely what you need.
It’s totally normal to want a little space every once in a while, do don’t think there’s anything wrong with you for wanting it. But how can you tell your girl you need more space without insulting her or giving her the wrong idea? The following tips can help you relay the message to your GF without making her think you want to break up.
If you want your girlfriend to start getting suspicious, then by all means, make up excuses as to why you can’t hang out with her as much as you used to. But if your goal is to get a little space so you can be yourself while keeping your relationship in-tact, then you should take the open and honest approach and be totally upfront with her about it.
Clearly communicating how you feel about anything in your relationship is important, including when you need a little room. Tread water lightly, use the right words, be caring and sympathetic, but at the same time, don’t bottle up how you are feeling and just stop showing up or calling; if you do, she’ll think you’re ghosting her.
Don’t Make It An Argument
There’s no doubt you’re going to be stressed out when you tell your GF that you need a little space. There’s also no doubt that she’s going to feel a little offended, and whenever someone feels offended, arguing is the natural reaction.
Try your best to avoid the argument. Have an adult conversation. Don’t blow up. Speak clearly. Use kind words. Communicate how you feel. It’s not her fault; it’s not your fault: sometimes people just need a little time apart from each other. If she’s cool and mature, she will totally feel where you are coming from.
Explain Why You Feel Smothered
OK, maybe using the word “smothered” or any of its synonyms isn’t exactly the best idea; however, you do want to explain why you feel like you need some space. Maybe try telling her how important alone time is for you and how being alone will allow you to be a better boyfriend to her. If you explain it in a kind, thoughtful way, she’ll be much more receptive and won’t feel like she is being attacked.
Explain the Benefits
You might even want to explain some of the benefits of spending less time together – for both of you! Research has found that couples who consistently spend time with each other can get bored of their relationship and feel smothered (there’s that word again!) By spending some time apart, you’ll both have more time to concentrate on yourselves, which isn’t selfish, but necessity. Plus, it will give you a chance to develop even more trust in each other and improve your communication skills, which will strengthen your bond and make your relationship even more amazing!
If you’re feeling like you need some space from your girl, try using these tactics to get the message across without coming off like a complete and total jerk.